to own

Yesterday I evaluated all of the stressors evident in my life. I sorted them into neat boxes and tried my best to trace them back to the root. When I began this exercise, there were often names or labels attached to them. Person X caused this stress. Assignment Y was making me pull out my hair. Group Z was grating on my nerves.

By the end, all of my stresses were traced back to the same root: ME.

It took a lot of rambling and venting and words of wisdom for me to come to that conclusion and to convince me to take ownership of my stress and my problems. Because even though I don't like that they're part of my life, they are mine. They aren't Person X's. They aren't Assignment Y's. They aren't Group Z's. For better or for worse, they're mine.

Sure, Person X can do or say things that hurt or upset me. But did I stop to think about how Person X is feeling? Did I try to be patient or kind or loving? Or did I just think of myself?

Assignment Y is a doozy for sure. But was I responsible about completing it in a timely manner? Did I spend meticulous hours putting forth my full effort into it? Or did I wait until hours before the due date to scramble into a frenzy and attempt to complete it?

And yes, Group Z may be obnoxious. It may be rowdy or coarse or irritating. But did I get to know the members of this group? Did I reach out to them with Christlike love? Or did I just judge them and write them off?

It's so easy for me to assign blame to other people when it comes to the things that are challenging or stressful in my life. It's easy to think that if that person or that situation didn't exist, I'd be happy as a clam. But that's simply not true. Because those stressful people or events would be replaced with another equally as trying situation.

The good news, however, is that I can still be happy despite the existence of stress and worry and troubles. In fact, it's highly encouraged. Happiness does not mean that everything is peachy keen. It doesn't guarantee a paucity of problems or worries. But it can be achieved even in the most difficult of circumstances.

And I now realized that my personal happiness is more likely to be achieved and held onto if I take ownership of the good, the bad, and the ugly in my life and if I control the things that I can and let go of the things I can't. I'm not going to pretend that I'm good at this or that it will be easy, but every journey goes a little more smoothly with a road map.

And I think I'm beginning to draw out that map. I think I may know which direction to go.