Let it be known.

A new scale for rating the attractiveness of the male gender has been created. I know, I know, it's not nice to judge or rank, but let's face it: we all do it. And I think that the system that my partner in crime and I have come up with is the perfect blend of fair, accurate, and nerdy. What more could you ask?

Brace yourself for the big reveal, people; It's coming. The new scale by which all males are subjected to be judged is....

The Matthew Lewis Scale!!!!

For those of you unaware of who Matthew Lewis is and why he is (or at least, in my opinion, should be) the benchmark for male attractiveness (shame on you!), let me fill you in.

Matthew Lewis played the ever-so-important role of Neville Longbottom (always had a soft spot in my heart for that guy) in the wildly popular Harry Potter film franchise. If you live anywhere other than under a rock or  in the heart of Africa, you've most likely heard of it. When dear old Matt was first on Warner Brothers' payroll as the lovably forgetful English chap, he looked a little something like this:

That, my friends, is the low end of the Matthew Lewis Scale (the equivalent of a one on a scale from one to ten). It is called "Sorcerer's Stone" or "First Year."

Now we're going to move on to a middle-ish point of reference -"Goblet of Fire" or "Fourth Year" :

And, now on to the big shebang. The "ten." The Merlin's beard, that boy's attractive! It's called "Present Day." And it looks like this:

Now, is he a fine lookin' fellow, or what? I do believe that he is the poster child of overcoming the awkward stage. Hang in there, chubby, awkward looking pre-teens...someday you may look like that! Or you'll still be chubby and awkward. I mean, take a look at Dudley! But that's not what we're focusing on today...

So, in case you need further explanation on how to properly use the Matthew Lewis Scale, let me give you a brief, hypothetical demonstration:

Lucky Girl: Oh my goodness! This totally cute boy just asked me out! Squeeeeee!
Lucky Girl's Friend/Sidekick: Squeeee! I'm so excited for you! On a scale from Sorcerer's Stone to Present Day, how cute is he?
Lucky Girl: Oh, I don't know. Probably like a Deathly Hallows Part 2!
Lucky Girl's Friend/Sidekick: Squeeee! You're so lucky! I wish I could at least get an Order of the Phoenix to ask me out!

And that is how it's done. For the record, I used to think that the amount of Squeeeee!ing that girls are said to do when asked out on a date or when their friends are asked out was a stereotype. But, after being surrounded by countless 18-and-19-year old girls for the past three-and-a-half months, I stand corrected. Many, many girls Squeeee!. I have been guilty of the Squeee!. It is what it is.

After reading this post, I'm guessing that you either find me a) crazy, b) terribly judgmental, c) ridiculously nerdy, or d) some combination of a-c. But you know what? I'm kind of ok with that!