the plan {take two}

You know, I sometimes imagine Heavenly Father looking down on me and chuckling good-naturedly at how I think that I have everything figured out. "I have a plan!" I declare triumphantly, and all He can do is smile, because He knows better.

"How precious," He must say, much in the same way that I do when I hear a seven-year-old tell me of how he plans on being a fire-fighting ninja doctor when he grows up.

But life isn't life without a perfectly solid plan changing 463 times.....right?


Let's back up a bit. Remember when I told y'all that I had a plan that goes through December? Well, I still do, it's just a tad different than I had originally planned.

Deseret Book contacted me earlier this week and informed me that if I wanted to, I could start my internship in June rather than September and still work all the way through December. My first thought upon reading this email was, "But I had a plan!!" My second thought was, "This sounds kind of perfect."

I spent the rest of the day bouncing back and forth between wanting to stay put exactly where I am and being giddy about the exciting prospect of a new opportunity at an amazing company. In a few spare minutes I had before my cycling class, I made a pro/con chart that Rory Gilmore would be proud of. After writing out every conceivable plus and minus for both options (stay at BYUtv until September or quit mid-June and work at Deseret Book until mid-December), I realized that what it all really boiled down to was one thing: money vs. experience.

As a (sort of) recent college grad, both money and experience are things that are incredibly valuable to my future and that are in short supply. When I consider my bank account, staying at BYUtv seems the better option, as it pays more, doesn't require me to fill my wardrobe with professional clothing items I don't currently own, and isn't a 46 mile commute. (Commute = $$$ for gas or $$ for a Front Runner pass)

But when I think about my career goals for the future, Deseret Book is the obvious choice. My job at BYUtv has been such a wonderful learning experience for me, and I will always be so incredibly grateful for the people who've helped me become a better editor and a better person. But I've also worked in this job for over two years, and though it saddens me, deep in my heart I know that it's time for me to move on to another job that will give me new opportunities to learn and grow.

So that's the plan. On June 19, I will say goodbye to my BYUtv family, and beginning June 22, I will officially be an editorial intern at Deseret Book. My feelings about this change are a curious mixture of excitement and sadness. I knew that my time at BYUtv was going to end soon, but it always seemed so theoretical. Now that it's real and that I have a date of departure, I feel even sadder about it.

But it's going to be great. I am genuinely excited about having new opportunities to learn and grow and work with new people. My post-grad life is coming together, and soon I'll find out what it's like to be a "grown-up" with a job and no classes. Weird.

Now all that's left is to find a second job. And buy some Big Girl clothes. And figure out where I'm living come September. And maybe hyperventilate a bit.