Disclaimer: Though it caused a great deal of internal strife, I preserved every misspelled word, forgotten comma, and grossly incorrect grammatical construction. Please remember to attribute them to the proper source, an "anonymous" 15-year-old boy.
Boy: So we watched Pride and Prejudice in world civ. this week and its literally the best movie ever!!
Me: I am sensing some sarcasm/intense mockery. And I don't mean Colin.
B: No seriously that movie is great!! its a theatrical wonder! And I dont mean stevie.
M: Are you possessed by another power right now? OR perhaps your phone is in the possession of somebody else?
B: Heck no!!! Mr. Bingly is my fav!
M: And why is that?
B: Because he has red hair and hes all like jane you da gurl fo me!
M: I don't recall it going quite like that...
B: Oh but then my boii darcy is like I lov I lov I love you girl dont leave me cuz im supah man and you supah woman!
M: Wow. What version were you watching? "Pride 'n Prej, Yo?"
B: Nah nah it was the mormal vers. haha mittah collins is like duudee all you girls are hawtt is the sun who wants to marry me so I can live in yo house **
M: And then Elizabeth is like, "nah bro, yo is uglay. I ain't gon' marry you."
B: Ya ya ya mittah collins thens like eh I guess i will go marry a city in north carolina!
M: Any analysis on Wickham?
B: Mannnnn I like to chu about dat der darcy he say he give me but heckk nah so i date lil females like chu to get some greenbacks up in hurr
** I interpret this to mean "Nah nah it was the normal vers. haha mittah collins is like duudee all you girls are hawtt as the sun...."
And to think they were mocking Aaron two weeks ago for admitting that he had watched the movie and had actually liked it.
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