Still my favorite lil' chilluns, one year older and wiser, too. For a glimpse into their previous hilarity, check here and here.
On Japanese entertainment options:
Eight-Year-Old: My bishop is in Japan.
Me: What is he doing there?
EYO: I don't know...probably having fun eating sushi.
On the weather's effects on wardrobe:
Me: Aren't you hot in the sun? You're wearing a black jacket!
EYO: No. It's kind of breezy.
On the public school system:
Me: What did you learn in school this week?
EYO: Fractions. No, wait. Not fractions...that thing with a line and a dot on top and another dot on bottom.
On writing utensil hypotheticals:
(Holding up a pen) What if this were magic and it drew a map on your arm and you followed it and it led you to treasure!?!
On wardrobe longevity:
EYO: Are you going to change your clothes?
Me: No, I didn't bring any extra clothes.
EYO: Why?
Me: Because I'm only here for today.
EYO: But what if you stayed for 1000 days?!?!?
On cooking techniques:
Will you butter the bread for me? I'm not a good butterer.
On life decisions:
EYO: Why aren't you going on a mission?
Me; Because I prayed about it, and Heavenly Father said that's not what He wants me to do right now.
EYO: (skeptical) Are you sure?
On unfamiliar terminology:
Me: (reading a Taboo card) What's a keno?
EYO: Maybe it's a kind of yoga.
On the ramifications of bodily mutations:
EYO's brother: What if you were born with six fingers on one hand.
EYO: You'd probably never get to wear any gloves.
On love:
EYO #1: You should get us another girl bunny, because if you got a boy, they might fall in love.
EYO #2: (disgusted) And then they'd kiss!!
On relative answers:
EYO: When are they gonna get here?
Me: Soon.
EYO: That's not an answer.
On prospective dates:
Me: Will you be my boyfriend? How do you feel about that?
EYO: Ummm....I'm not sure. I'll think about it.
Showing posts with label from the mouths. Show all posts
Showing posts with label from the mouths. Show all posts
Sunday, March 29, 2015
Monday, February 17, 2014
from the mouths of seven-year-olds vol. II
for the original, click here.
6 months later. same 7-year-olds. same amount of laughs.
on superhero's character flaws
SYO: (drawing a smiley face on a superhero lollipop) Now he has a mouth so he can eat you.
Me: But he's a superhero....they don't eat people.
SYO: Sometimes they turn bad. And people eat meat, and you're made of meat, so he can eat you.
on the adaptability of the dermis
(observing a cut on my hand) Well it looks like skin grows back. Because there isn't a hole.
on the woes of facial features
Sometimes your lips get sticky and stick to stuff.
on body image
Me: (after SYO had force fed me approximately 37 pretzels) Are you trying to make me fat?
SYO: (horrified) No! Look at your body...you're not (*voice dropped to an embarrassed whisper*) fat.
on altering the human anatomy
I squished your head and made it into a teeny candy.
on paying attention in school
SYO: Sometimes my teacher tells me to put on my brain cap. Or something like that. Actually she says thinking cap.
Me: Do you put your brain thinking cap on?
SYO: I don't know what that means.
on the connectivity of the human body
SYO: I'm gonna smell your hair.
Me: Okay. What does it smell like?
SYO: You.
Me: What do I smell like?
SYO: Your hair....because your hair is part of you. It grows our of your head. Right next to your brain.
6 months later. same 7-year-olds. same amount of laughs.
on superhero's character flaws
SYO: (drawing a smiley face on a superhero lollipop) Now he has a mouth so he can eat you.
Me: But he's a superhero....they don't eat people.
SYO: Sometimes they turn bad. And people eat meat, and you're made of meat, so he can eat you.
on the adaptability of the dermis
(observing a cut on my hand) Well it looks like skin grows back. Because there isn't a hole.
on the woes of facial features
Sometimes your lips get sticky and stick to stuff.
on body image
Me: (after SYO had force fed me approximately 37 pretzels) Are you trying to make me fat?
SYO: (horrified) No! Look at your body...you're not (*voice dropped to an embarrassed whisper*) fat.
on altering the human anatomy
I squished your head and made it into a teeny candy.
on paying attention in school
SYO: Sometimes my teacher tells me to put on my brain cap. Or something like that. Actually she says thinking cap.
Me: Do you put your brain thinking cap on?
SYO: I don't know what that means.
on the connectivity of the human body
SYO: I'm gonna smell your hair.
Me: Okay. What does it smell like?
SYO: You.
Me: What do I smell like?
SYO: Your hair....because your hair is part of you. It grows our of your head. Right next to your brain.
Thursday, August 29, 2013
from the mouths of seven-year-olds
Honestly, one of the things that I miss the most being away at college other than my family is being around children. And who wouldn't, when they say things like this:
On the requirements for death:
"When you die, you have to have white or gray hair, or you're not allowed."
On the uncertainty of the future:
Seven-Year-Old: Maddie, will you be a mommy before I'm a teenager?
Me: I don' t know. Maybe. If I am, will you babysit my kids?
SYO: Maybe. If my mom lets me. But she might die before then.
On the repercussions of getting older:
"What if you were 39? Or 60 hundred? Or a zillion? Would you fill the whole house?"
On living in an alternate universe:
SYO 1: What if we had magic?
Me: That would be cool. What would you guys do if you had magic?
SYO 2: I would dance gracefully.
On fire resistance:
"Maddie, what if your face was on fire, but it wasn't burning, and it only burned the bed?"
On the manufacturing of modern technology:
"How did they make your phone? Are there a hundred cords in there? I don't think a zillion cords could fit."
On heaven:
SYO's Dad: Ebelskivers are little balls of heaven. Do you want some?
SYO: No. I don't like heaven.
On the requirements for death:
"When you die, you have to have white or gray hair, or you're not allowed."
On the uncertainty of the future:
Seven-Year-Old: Maddie, will you be a mommy before I'm a teenager?
Me: I don' t know. Maybe. If I am, will you babysit my kids?
SYO: Maybe. If my mom lets me. But she might die before then.
On the repercussions of getting older:
"What if you were 39? Or 60 hundred? Or a zillion? Would you fill the whole house?"
On living in an alternate universe:
SYO 1: What if we had magic?
Me: That would be cool. What would you guys do if you had magic?
SYO 2: I would dance gracefully.
On fire resistance:
"Maddie, what if your face was on fire, but it wasn't burning, and it only burned the bed?"
On the manufacturing of modern technology:
"How did they make your phone? Are there a hundred cords in there? I don't think a zillion cords could fit."
On heaven:
SYO's Dad: Ebelskivers are little balls of heaven. Do you want some?
SYO: No. I don't like heaven.
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