hopeful romantic

I love romance. 

I am that sappy, soft-hearted girl who swoons over Hallmark movies and loves to guess the occasion upon seeing a man carrying a bouquet of flowers. Helping orchestrate my roommate's proposal filled me with so much joy that you'd think I was the one being proposed to, and whenever wedding or engagement photos pop up on Facebook, I just get all fuzzy and warm inside.  I just love love. 

I've been this way since childhood. I remember playing Barbies with my friends and being unnaturally concerned that Barbie and Ken were going to have a happily ever after. And when Ken dolls were in short supply, you'd better believe I snatched one up as fast as possible to avoid the unthinkable fate of my Barbie ending up a lonely spinster with a pink, sequin-studded dress. The mere thought filled me with horror.

And despite all that, I think it's time I shed my identity as a hopeless romantic. I've been called that time and time again, and, on many occasions, I've slapped myself with that particular moniker without giving it a second thought. But now that I really think about it, the term hopeless romantic is rather negative. I don't like it, because it seems to imply that being a romantic is a cause that is without hope. It implies that romance will never be what I want it to be. 

And I reject that. You can call me idealistic or naive all you want, but from here on out, I want to be known as a hopeful romantic. Because I believe in romance.

Let's get a few things straight: when I saw that I believe in romance, I don't mean that I believe in the happy sunshine, rainbows and unicorns and cupcakes with sprinkles version of romance that movies and books throw at us. Do I enjoy indulging in a completely unrealistic, fluffy romcom? Yes, sirree. But do I actually think that's what romance is? Absolutely not.

True romance—the romance that I believe in and that I hope to have someday—isn't about meet-cutes and killer dresses and picture perfect plot lines. Real romance is full of stumbling blocks and stepping stones and compromise and care. Real romance is choosing to fall in love more each day and being sympathetic to the humanness in your partner. 

I'm certainly no expert in romance, and I'm more than likely completely ill-equipped to be telling anybody anything about what romance is. But even though I'm young and inexperienced in the romance department, I've been surrounded by ideal examples of romance, even if the moments I've witnessed will never grace the big screen. 

I believe in romance because I've never heard my parents speak an unkind word to one another and because my dad always makes sure to find my mom first thing when he comes home from work so he can kiss her hello and because when my father lost his job, my mom stopped buying bread and started making it from scratch.

I see romance in the way that my maternal grandmother selflessly aids my frail grandfather, whose health is deteriorating and who is in need of more and more assistance as the days and weeks go on. She serves him without complaint or seeking pity, and I don't know what's more romantic than that. 

I believe in romance each time I see the young father in my ward take their squirmy toddler from his wife so that she can focus on church without having to constantly track the movements of an active, curious, and unbelievably adorable little girl. And I believe in romance whenever the wife speaks about her family, and you just know that her husband and baby are her entire world. 

I see romance in the way that my sister-in-law works hard at a job that doesn't represent true passion so that she can support my brother while he is getting a degree in a field he's passionate about and in the fact that she was willing to move to the Arctic tundra of Michigan so that he could follow his dreams. 

Romance isn't flowers and boxes of chocolates and extravagant dates. Romance is bringing Gatorade and soup when your girlfriend has food poisoning and can't move without becoming incredibly nauseated. It's the small acts of service, the selflessness, the sacrifice for the greater good. Romance is trusting another person with your deepest feelings and letting yourself be vulnerable. It's knowing when to speak reassuring words, when to listen, and when to simply sit in silence and just enjoy being together. It's loving each other on our best days and worst days and days in between.

That's what romance is to me. And I believe in that.