the letter.

Nearly a year and a half ago, I received a letter that changed my life. It pulled me out of a dark place and gave me hope for the future. It helped me to have an eternal perspective. It taught me that life goes on and that mistakes and weaknesses don't define you. It showed me how to have more faith and how to view trials as blessings from Heavenly Father that allow you to learn and grow and change. I reread that letter often. It is a pick-me-up when life gets hard or confusing, or I just don't think I am strong enough to conquer the rocky path I am navigating.

Since receiving it, I've tried to write about it several times, but for whatever reason, it never felt quite right until now. I can't be sure of the reason that today is the day, but it is. And I've learned that sometimes I just need to go with the flow instead of fighting or questioning or doubting. 

Here's the thing, though: I have no idea who wrote me this letter. It was slipped under my door while I was living in 222 Tingey Hall and was signed "a friend who cares." Every time I read or even just think about this letter, my heart aches a little, because I want so badly to be able to thank whoever wrote it to me. I want to tell him (a handwriting analysis leads me to believe it was a male, but I could be wrong. However, in order to make this narrative less choppy and awkward, we're going to assume that the letter was written by a male.) how much it meant to me, because I don't think he has any idea. The beginning of the letter is hesitant; he's not sure if there is a purpose behind him writing or if I would receive it well. 

But let me tell you this: there was a purpose. I needed his words. I didn't know I needed those specific words until I read them and felt completely overwhelmed with a sense of love, peace, and understanding. For the first time in a long time, I believed that everything was going to be okay. I saw a light in the future and began to let go of my worries and hurt and anger. Because I was worried, I was hurt, and I was angry. And those negative emotions were slowly eating away at me. I don't even like to think about where I would be right now if I hadn't been able to reverse the damage those feelings were inflicting on my soul. 

So this is my giant thank you to the mystery writer of that letter. Words cannot express how grateful I am for your ability to observe that I needed help and then your willingness to do something about it. I believe in ministering angels and that you are one of them. And I can never repay you for what you have done. 

Thank you.