Wednesday, April 2, 2014

give yourself a break.

So you spent too much time on Netflix and not enough time writing that essay due in two days. I know. You skipped the gym in favor of a nap. I get it. I understand that your hair is in a ponytail for the fourth day straight and that you're forgetting what you look like in something other than a sweatshirt and jeans. And maybe your grandiose plans of a long, fruitful, spiritually uplifting scripture study somehow turned into a hurried glance over 1 Nephi 2:15 before conking out for the night or you got upset over something insignificant or harped on yourself for doing or saying the wrong thing.

Now if you're anything like me, you're tempted to think that these slip-ups make you a bad person. That you're a failure who can't do anything right. You miss golden opportunities and you'll never measure up to those around you and you'll never be good enough or smart enough or dedicated enough or anything enough.

But, please, I beg you: before you find yourself in this vicious cycle of self-deprecating behavior that is so easy to fall into, just stop. Assess. Take a breath. And give yourself a break.

Your mistakes and short-comings don't define you. Weakness is a part of you, but it's not who you are. Not really. So no, you're not a bad person because you ate a cupcake and seven gummi worms for dinner instead of concocting a balanced, healthy meal that would put Martha Stewart to shame. You're not going to fail at everything you attempt because you overslept and under-prepared. You're not a disappointment because of your mood swings or your anxieties or your fears. You're just not.

But it's easy to think so. Trust me, I know.

So I repeat: Stop. Assess. Take a breath. And give yourself a break.

I'm not excusing inappropriate or irresponsible behaviors. I'm not saying that it's okay to shirk your duties and to laze about every day. I'm not saying that you should never try or work or progress. I'm not saying that at all.

I am saying to remind yourself that you're only human and that because of that, you're going to make mistakes. But rather than have a myopic view of your life in which you can only see the negatives or the things you've done wrong or that didn't go according to plan, take a minute to recognize the things you have done well. What you have accomplished.

Think about that time you did go to the gym even though everything in your heart and body told you not to. Think about the person you served or the cake you baked that was to die for or the day last week when you learned so much through your scripture study. Think about the talents you have, the times you've succeeded, and the relationships that make life worthwhile.

And remember: you can try again tomorrow. And you might mess up again tomorrow, but that's okay. Give yourself a break. Stop defining who you are by what you didn't do perfectly. Stop getting down on yourself because your plan hasn't come to fruition. Stop convincing yourself that you're not worth something because you're not who somebody else thinks you should be.

Stop. Assess. Take a breath. And give yourself a break.

1 comment:

  1. Good heavens, Maddie. You are just an incredible writer and human being and friend. Thank you for this. Needed it.

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