stream of conscience

I steal other people's words sometimes. It's not my fault that they are more beautiful, more concise, and more meaningful than my own. And when I really think about it, I am not actually stealing them. I'm just borrowing them until I find my own. Sometimes I borrow them for an hour. Sometimes a day. Sometimes longer, maybe even forever. Because when you find words that express those things deep inside your heart, you should hold onto them. They don't come easily. It's not one of those many-fish-in-the-sea kind of things.  Words are words. Words are yours. Sometimes they're mine. Sometimes we can share. But they mean something. The solidify the things that we think and feel. They make the abstract more concrete. They make things permanent. Sure, you can destroy a piece of paper on which you wrote lyrics or a poem or even just a few jumbled thoughts. You can tear it to pieces or rub the words away with an eraser. You can scratch it all our or drop the paper into a fire, but you can't ever change the fact that they were once written on paper, no matter how short of a time period that happened to be. They were there. They were real. They were yours.

There aren't many things you can stake a claim on in this world. There are material things. That bed is mine. (But when I move out it will be somebody else's) Those books are mine (But someday their pages will be worn and might fall our or become torn.) This computer is mine. (But someday it will stop working and I will have to discard it in favor of a newer, sleeker, faster model.) Words can be yours. You can keep them in your heart, on your hand, or on a piece of paper. You can write them in the sand with your pointer finger or etch them into the side of a tree. Nobody can take your words away from you. Nobody can, though they'll try. Because people get jealous of the things other people have. Some people have words but don't know how to use them. They try and try, but they just don't have the same connection as other people do. That's not to fault them. It doesn't make them "bad." It doesn't make you better. It just makes you different. And that's okay, but everybody will tell you that's a lie. But that's just how it goes. You will have your words and someday somebody will try to take them and twist them and turn them into something they're not.

DON'T LET THEM. Fight. Resist. Pull with all of your might and your force. Don't let beauty slip through your fingers like a soft silk scarf. Keep them safe and only use them in appropriate situations. Be conscious of the people who might want to take them from you. Be aware. Be strong. Be courageous. Be you.

It's okay to be you. People will tell you that's wrong, too, especially if you're not like other people. But, really, it's okay. The world would be a sad, boring, colorless place if every person were exactly the same. We can't be clones. We can't be robots. We can't forget to think for ourselves and be ourselves. If we do, all is lost. If we do, somebody will come and take your words from you with ease. Be you. Be true. Don't let others get you down if you're afraid of who you are or if you don't quite know who you are yet.

Life is a journey. Take it. If you're afraid, just take one step, take a look at your surroundings, and then when you're ready, take another step. It's okay to go slow. It's okay to be afraid. But it's not okay to stop and sit in the grass and wonder why nothing has changed.