Best Advice: Comparing Yourself to Others

In my kitchen there hangs a framed collage of inspirational quotes. I look to that frame some days as I eat breakfast and mentally prepare myself for the long day ahead of me. One quote that continually catches my attention is: Comparison is the thief of joy. I don't know who said it, but I think about that often. Comparing yourself to other people will never make you happier. Ever. It will simply fill you with longing and regret and despair that you don't have everything that So-and-So has. You may not have the same talents or abilities or look like So-and-So. So-and-So might be smarter or more attractive or own a pet lion or have the ability to fly or never ever ever have a bad day. Ridiculous? SO IS COMPARING YOURSELF!

I say all that, but it's something I personally struggle with. It's SO hard to remember that life isn't a contest; you're never going to be the best at everything. Sometimes you're not the best at anything, but just good at a lot of things. And that's okay. When you are struggling with believing that it's okay or feeling that you will never be able to measure up to the people around you, remember this:

The problem with comparing yourself with other people is that you're comparing your inside with somebody else's outside--your deepest, innermost feelings with the outward actions of another person. 

This gem was delivered by the bishop of my freshman ward at BYU during a conversation in which I was being very whiny and feeling very sorry for myself. His statement gave me the perspective I needed to convince myself that nobody else is perfect, even when I perceive them to be flawless.

So next time you (or I) go to compare yourself with somebody else, remember that just because she portrays herself as very confident, she might not be. She might be just as lost and confused on the inside as you feel sometimes. Or despite the fact that he walks around with a perma-smile glued on his face, he might be filled with sorrow and despair. Everybody has struggles and comparing yourself to somebody "perfect" isn't going to get you anywhere. Your pity party will become as outlandish as a Miley Cyrus' sweet sixteen over a comparison that is most likely completely skewed.

Instead, how about we all try a little harder to do this: "First observe, then serve."