Where the heart is.

I am a word person. I always have been. I believe that there is power in knowing what things mean and in being able to perfectly and concisely express what you are feeling. I like to be able to define things and understand them and know how to apply those definitions. Which is perhaps why I'm struggling a bit right now. I can't seem to apply the definition of a word that is so basic, so intrinsically embedded into every human being. I thought I knew exactly what it meant. Six months ago I would have been able to define it in a heart beat and tell you what it referred to. But now, preparing to go back to Utah, my application of this word has become a bit muddled.

Home.


Home is the place where you are surrounded by the people that you love. The place where you can get your clothes out of a drawer and not a suitcase and where you can locate oregano or a frying pan with ease. It's the place where your things have a specific place, where shoes go here and never there and where you quarrel over who has the most cabinet space. Home is the place where you can wear your pajamas all day without fear of judgement. Home is where you poke fun at others and receive immediate retaliation, but know that you love each other just the same. It's where loving notes are hidden in your room to cheer you on a gray day. It's where you feel like you.


Home still means all those things to me. I know what it means, but where is it? Can home be in two places? Can you have more than one home? I keep thinking that I'm packing to go home, but how can that be when I have to leave home to get there? I feel at home here in Kentucky with my family, but all the ways that I define home can be applied to 222 Tingey as well.

I wonder if this is just the plight of a first year college student. I have my feet and heart in two places; I've yet to plant any permanent roots of my own. All along I've known that as soon as Winter semester ends, I'll be heading right back here. Right back home. But then, in the fall, I'll return again to Utah. It's so confusing to figure out where home truly is when I think about it like that.

I guess I'll think of it this way: I will always have two homes. One where I am and one where my family is. Because when it's all said and done, family is the biggest part of what makes a home.