Two Vignettes.

Once upon a time, six lovely friends were causing quite the ruckus in the grocery store. They were laughing too loudly, mocking each other's purchases, and clogging up entire aisles. They can't be blamed, however, as they hadn't seen each other in nearly three weeks and simply wanted to catch up. After being gently reprimanded by the scowls of fellow shoppers, they attempted to disperse and leave the aisles free and clear for those in a rush to buy bread and potato chips. However, they clotted together again in the dairy aisle. But not to worry, they were promptly disbanded by the ever so creepy leer and "Hellllllo Ladies" by a passing shopper. They struggled to keep straight faces, hiding their giggles with fake coughs, until they'd scattered in different directions. Then, they laughed. 


**

Less than a day later, two of the same friends were chatting amiably with another dear friend before a class began. With no warning whatsoever, the strange man with greasy hair who, until this moment had sat quietly in front of them, staring at the black projector screen, turned to them and said, " So I guess I'm just the one guy in front of you girls...the Lone Ranger. I just thought of something that's probably really dumb, but I'm going to tell you anyway. Do you think it would be a good idea to only have Sodium for an entire day? Na." He paused, but only for a brief moment, "You see," he said, pointing to the Periodic Table hanging on the classroom wall, "it's funny because, Na is the chemical symbol for Sodium." The three friend tittered uncomfortably, because, just as the stranger had predicted, his joke was indeed dumb. They exchanged glances out of the corners of their eyes and remained silent until he turned back around. They then began scribbling furious notes in the margins of their notebooks, both expressing their confusion and level of creepy this man possessed, and championing him for giving a name to the category of creepy guys.These notes grew even more fascinating as the Lone Ranger opened his laptop and displayed his half-naked Chuck Norris background. Framing Chuck were quotes about the depressing nature of love, reflecting his state of lovelessness. 

Well, Lone Ranger, if  you're reading this and you haven't figured out WHY you are alone, you have just been given many places to look to in order to gain understanding.