Started and Deleted *Fifteen Times.

I never write a post unless I have something specific in mind. I can't force myself to write; it has to feel natural and real. 

It's times like these that I get into trouble with that. The mood I'm in is very conducive to a release of emotions in the form of words on a computer screen....but something just isn't right. And I hate that. I have tried everything to enhance the nostalgic mood I'm in to get something. I've listened to Remember about four times. I've forced sighs while cuddling with my faithful stuffed hippo, Napoleon. I've tried to channel every past disappointment and failure. But nothing. 

This is what it comes down to: I feel sad and I don't know why. Confused, unexplainable sadness is the worst kind, because you never know what caused it. And if you don't know what caused it, you can't fix it. I shouldn't feel sad right now. I have nothing to be sad about.  Nothing at all. I had a great day. I don't know what it is about those last few moments at the end of a good day that tend to inspire such nostalgia and sadness in me. Maybe I'm subconsciously mourning the end of something fabulous. Maybe my brain and heart finally have time to be on the same page. Or maybe I'm just tired. 

*Fifteen may be an exaggeration. But only slightly.