Tuesday, March 25, 2014

the answer I needed

Yesterday technology happened, and the entire contents of my flash drive were deleted without reason or warning. The documents saved on said flash drive included several InDesign files I needed for a rather important project due tomorrow.

Obviously, I freaked out a little bit. I had no idea what I was going to do, and  I tried several different computers, convincing myself that the computer was the problem and not my flash drive.

It wasn't the computer. 

So then I sat there, staring at the screen feeling completely distraught and overwhelmed. I'd worked for hours on this project, and I knew that I didn't have that time to devote to it before the deadline. 

So I prayed. I asked to figure something out. 

Then I plugged my flash drive into the computer once more, hoping that my faith would magically restore my lost files. 

It didn't. 

And then I was distraught all over again and began to fret about how I couldn't get everything done that night because I didn't have all the documents I needed to recreate my project, and it just wasn't possible. All my hard work was erased, and everything felt hopeless. 

But then a little voice in my head said, "But think about all the things you can accomplish. Why don't you just try?"

So I got to work and I tried. In under two hours, I'd recreated a large portion of the work that I'd lost--work that took me at least twice that long the first time around. And after I accomplished all I could possibly do that night, I realized that since I began to try, I hadn't felt a hint of anxiety or distress.  And even more than that, I knew exactly what I needed to do without hesitation and was able to do those things correctly and efficiently with little to no thought.

That in and of itself was a miracle for me. I am not a graphic designer. My InDesign skills are shoddy at best, and I don't have a lot of confidence in my abilities to design. I've struggled all semester with this class, so the fact that I was able to work so confidently and without thought was spectacular.

Today I received a helpful email  from my professor (who I'd emailed and explained the situation to last night). She encouraged me and told me that she would help me in class tomorrow. I also unexpectedly had a free hour in my day in which I could work on the project, and now I'm almost completely finished. Which shouldn't be possible. It just shouldn't.

To anybody else, this may just seem like a quaint story of hard work following a technological meltdown, but to me it's not. To me it's an answered prayer. It's a reminder that I'm not alone and that I can receive help on anything, even if it's just a silly project that will be completely insignificant in a year or so.

And more than that, it's a clear message that while prayers are answered, they aren't always answered the way you want them to be. To be honest, before I said that prayer, I was desperately hoping that the answer would be a "whoops! wasn't that a silly thing that your flash drive did? here are all your documents back!" And while that would have been easiest and most convenient, the fact that that wasn't my answer is a blessing on its own. It reminded me that when Heavenly Father doesn't take away the challenge or the trial, he strengthens us to be able to handle that stumbling block. He didn't restore my documents, but he gave me the calm, confidence, and knowledge I needed to accomplish a task that was incredibly daunting for me.

I didn't get the answer I wanted, but I got the answer I needed. And that's enough for me.


1 comment:

  1. I love this! Very well written. I like that you found an encouraging lesson in an incredibly frustrating moment. Thank you!

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