The Dating Bill of Rights

As a young single adult living in Provo, you'd better believe I hear a lot of talk about dating. And while bishops and stake presidents go on and on about how many dates we should be going on and who we should go out with and what kind of dates we should go on, I don't hear a lot of mention of what a prospective dater has the right to expect from Provo dating culture. And dating—just like all forms of social interaction—sometimes has the tendency to bring about injustices or general discomfort for one or both parties. It is therefore important that everybody should know what their rights are in different stages of relationships. I don't pretend to be an expert on the topic, but here's me taking a stab at what anybody in the dating arena has the right to expect from dating situations:

The Dating Bill of Rights

1. No person shall ever infringe upon another's feelings of safety and security or their right to be respected in all interpersonal environments.

2. All date invitations shall be delivered in a respectful, appropriate manner, and offers that must be rejected should be rejected in the same attitude of respect. Dates should not be rejected without just cause. Plans to watch Netflix on Friday night does not constitute just cause.

3. Both parties have the right to embark on a first date without the pressure or expectation of commitment past the first date; outside parties are expected to respect that right and not hassle, tease, mock, or imply that a relationship is anything more than one of two people going on a first date.

4. Any person has the right to reject any form of physical or emotional intimacy with which he or she is uncomfortable without the fear of negative repercussions from the other party.

5. Dating persons have the right to move at a pace that is comfortable for both people. Outside parties shall not pressure a couple into moving faster or slower than is right for them nor should they judge a couple's decision of when to take relationship steps. Every person has the right to expect the person he or she is dating to also respect their boundaries and the speed at which they are comfortable moving a relationship forward (within reason). This means that the so-called BYU Third Date Rule is hereby abolished and should not ever be a reason for a couple to make commitments to one another.

6. All daters have the right to feel free and comfortable to speak openly as is appropriate to the stage of the relationship. They should be able to confide in their partner without worrying about the other partner's becoming judgmental, apathetic, or irritated. Any one should be able to expect confidentiality from their partner when confiding in him or her. This confidence applies even if the relationship ends; the severance of a courtship does not justify a person to openly share a former partner's personal thoughts, feelings, or experiences.

7. Prior to a formal commitment being made, no party has a say in who the other person goes on dates with. After a committed relationship has been formed, all persons have the right to complete mental, emotional, and physical fidelity from their partner.

8. A person has the right to confirm or deny relationship status and to share relationship milestones for themselves. Friends, family, and acquaintances have no right to gossip about one's relationship status or spread any information about a relationship regardless of whether it is true or false.

9. People have the right to maintain or sever a relationship based on their own desires and feelings. Outside influences should not pressure a person into staying in or getting out of a relationship. This right can be waived in the case of an extremely unhealthy relationship; outside parties should encourage a person in an abusive or otherwise unhealthy relationship to end said relationship. Any desire to end a relationship should be respected; a dumped partner does not have the right to insist that the relationship remain intact.

10. Any person going on any date at any time with anyone has the right to expect human decency and common courtesy from their date regardless of of any internal or external circumstances.